New York Minutes
Posted on March 12, 2012
Call it nycdodgy.
So I spent last weekend in New York City and this is one of the asshats I came across.
Of course I gave him the loose change I had. How could I not. He’s an honest fuck.
Overheard from the cute, ginger-haired, long-legged flight attendant on the plane from Chicago:
“I love your mascara.”
“I love your sweater skirt.”
“My mom was asking me about Facebook. I said, ‘ma, don’t go on Facebook. You can barely work a smartphone.’ ”
She also talked about wanting more hours and explained to some douche passenger the rules of electrical device shut-off.
“There was a study….plus we want your full attention.”
Well, she had mine. I even took my headphones off to give her a good listen.
Overheard outside the Patriot on Chambers Street:
“Fuck it. I’ll take a two-hour lunch.”
There are a lot of cute Asian gals in NYC and they’re all wearing the same brown eyeglass frames.
On the way from JKF to the hotel, I was sandwiched in the back seat between a couple of Russian/Ukrainian/or something-like-that girls. It was like being in the van from season two of The Wire when those prostitutes were being driven around.
Where did I get my drink on? Well, Bubby’s in Tribeca, of course. It was featured in one of my recent favorite pics Newlyweds – directed by Tribeca’s own Ed Burns.
Women in Tribeca are truly stunning.
If you’re walking around Times Square and have to pee it’s actually difficult to find someplace to do so.
Another place I enjoyed a few jars of Guinness and Yuengling at was Feile’s Irish Pub on 33rd.
At 5 o’clock in the morning, around Penn Station, were a lot of Snooki-ish chicks in short tight skirts, wandering around like a herd of zombies.
At one point on 7th Avenue an anti-white rally broke out.
I had to do this on the downlow, ’cause I’m a whitey and you can see the evil eyes staring me down. The Irish fuck that I am.
Nothing happened…there was no violence or anything. Just some speaker screaming about the white man and quoting from what I think was the Bible. He was surrounded by dudes wearing some sort of ankle-length sweatery uniform things.