Charlie Manson’s Cell Phone
Posted on March 27, 2013
A follower of imprisoned douchebag killer Charles Manson tried to smuggle a cell phone to him the other day. Apparently this has happened before, successfully, and resulted in Charlie texting a bunch of people. My friend and I riffed online about what those texts could say, why Mr. Manson would want a phone, or just random thoughts.
Hello, Charlie? Is that you? Wait. Let me put you on speaker.
I wonder if he has the T-Mobile 5 friends plan.
I hope he doesn’t butt dial.
Hello? Yes I will kill for you.
I think he just wants to make some Jerky Boys-style crank calls (“I’ll wrap your head in a wrench”).
Is your refrigerator running? Well chase it down and stab it to death!
He keeps asking if Squeaky is here? Do you know a Squeaky? Is there a Squeaky here?
Facetime with Charlie.
I wonder if he has unlimited sexting?
Call me maybe.
What kind of hummingbird does the mambo?
He just wants someone to discuss “Girls” with.
If I was there right now I’d bash you over the head with this phone.
The devil always shaves his head, and knows how to conserve battery life.