Spider can often be seen working on cars in the Bucktown neighborhood of Chicago. That’s when we don’t take our vehicles to his homestead in Indiana, near a cornfield, where three or four non-operational vehicles sit in the driveway. They’d probably be in his garage but he has a lot of junk in there. Engine blocks, three riding lawnmowers (one that works), a motorcycle with no gas tank or seat, and various scraps of metal and car parts. There are several posters on the wall featuring women wearing bikinis and high heels (I never understood that look). There’s also a Sex and The City poster (TV show version) and on one shelf what Spider calls “a Japanese motorcycle helmet.”

Spider has been mentioned once or twice in this blog, and I asked Spider if he wanted to contribute to it. At first he didn’t know what a blog was. He thought it was maybe a cheesy title of a monster movie. “The Blog!”

I decided to decipher words out of his mouth  – sound bits from a conversation – and come up with a Spider post. It might be a regular thing. The monkeywrench says some interesting stuff. Here’s No. 1. It occurred while he was taking a nap.

I, Spider

You laugh…but I lay here and laugh. It’s not time to get up. When it is, I’ll work on cars or what-not. My online Russian girlfriend sent me an email in French. She sent me a picture and I don’t know, it was crazy. Her friend was in it and she had tight pants. My vehicle almost started on fire at the car wash today. Holy cow the flame was this high! Fast and Furious 6  is out and I’ll probably go see it. I have the last one on DVD. I do need a big-screen TV though.

I Spider