Last week we decided to get together at Chicago recluse author Clive Javanski’s new Bucktown apartment and have “a sort of a housewarming” during which we would engage in another go-around of our Asshole Book Club. This time it was myself, Aidan, Clive, Cookie Roy, Depressed Johnny, Spider, and our lone female guest, Kyna – pronounced key + na. In Irish it means love and affection, although she offered neither on this particular night.

The book list this time included Clive’s original essay, Road Pants. I brought an Irish play, The Cripple of Inishman. Spider brought an old copy of the Chicago Reader, Cookie Roy something about the Chicago polka scene, Aidan had with him linear notes from an R.E.M. album, and Kyna brought Clerks/Chasing Amy – Two Screenplays by Kevin Smith.

Depressed Johnny brought weed.

Each of us takes turns in discussing our “book” with the group. It usually leads to other topics.

Aidan: Is Anna Kendrick pretty?

Depressed Johnny: What I like about her is she looks like most Chicago women.

Cookie Roy: Who’s Anna Kendrick?

Spider: She was in that movie Picture Perfect about singing.

Clive: That was Jennifer Aniston.

Cookie Roy: Jennifer Aniston was singing?

I recently saw the fine Chicago-based film Drinking Buddies with Anna Kendrick and Olivia Wilde. I’d share craft beers with either of them. I asked Kyna, a non-lesbian as far as I know, who she favors. She said Anna would be her Tuesday girl and Olivia her Saturday bitch. I left it at that.

Kyna is supposed to produce a local podcast. She wants either Aidan or myself to come on for one of the topics about female and male body hair. It would be called “Do You Shave That Thing?”

If The Asshole Book Club was a UK-based series Kyna would be the strange, but cute, ginger girl of the cast.

More conversation

Clive: I heard Adam Ant played in the city not long ago. I wonder if Marco Pirroni still plays guitar for him.

Kyna: Ooh! I know. He played guitar on Sinead O’Connor’s debut album “The Lion and the Cobra.” I know ’cause I wrote a paper about her.

Aidan: He does have a signature sound, Marco.

Cookie Roy: Who’s Marco Pironni?

Me: Sinead O’Connor’s most recent album kicked your ass and mine. Vastly underrated. Just thinking about it makes me more attracted to you than I already am, Kyna.

Bad Beer Hand

As said before, the Asshole Book Club often turns into the Asshole Poker Club. It was my turn to bring the bad beer for the poker game’s bad beer hand. Loser drinks the bad beer. I was unprepared for this duty and in a last-minute rush found a loose bottle of Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy. I know its popular with girls at outdoor beer gardens and the board shorts-wearing frat boys at Wrigleyville bars but I don’t like it. And I knew that no one in our group liked it. Kyna’s a dark beer girl. Depressed Johnny said it tasted like spilled ink from a pen mixed with urine. Cookie Roy never heard of it (strictly Old Style for Roy). Aidan is from a dodgy area in Dublin and just mentioning the name “Summer Shandy” would get his ass beat. Clive doesn’t give a shit, he’ll drink anything once. Spider lost the hand and drank the stuff, unfazed.

I prefer Anna Kendrick drinking beer from a pint glass than singing about plastic cups. (Drinking Buddies)

The Asshole Book Club Part 1

Colts Cheerleaders offend territory of Northwest Indiana

Liffey

Posted on August 31, 2013

Tourism officials in Northwest Indiana are up in a poo about a cheerleader calendar shoot. You see, the Indianapolis Colts cheerleaders shot their 2013 season calendar on a beach in Michigan. For those in the unknown Indianapolis is the big city in Indiana – whose northwest region lies along Lake Michigan. Yet Indianapolis chose to the beaches of Lake Michigan in the actual state of Michigan as the backdrop for its bikini-clad Coltettes.

The officials in NWI are upset because they say the Michigan shoot was a lost opportunity for gaining more fans in that part of the state. The Colts say it’s not so easy because league rules designate NWI as a marketing area for the Chicago Bears.

Funny though, in 2005 when the Bears were in the playoffs they were selling single-ticket playoff seats for Illinois residents only. So that met a resident in Alton, IL, a 300-mile, 4-hour drive from Chicago could buy a ticket but a Bears fan in NWI, a mere 30-45 minutes away, could not. Not sure if that rule still applies. Maybe if the Bears ever make the playoffs again we’ll find out.

Maybe the Colts should have brought the girls to the Gary airport. There is plenty of space to shoot pics on the runways because there are never any planes on them.

What I continually find interesting is there are people in NWI who claim it’s a suburb of Chicago (I’ve said that numerous times) and others who want no part of that distinction.

Chicago doesn’t seem to want any part of the region. And neither does the rest of Indiana. So I think of Northwest Indiana as a territory. Like a place in the Middle East but with less explosions (I take that back – NWI is the fireworks capital of the world and Gary has more gunshots than most cities combined).

Colts cheerleaders snub Northwest Indiana

Colts Cheerleaders aren’t allowed in northern part of state. (Colts.com)

Aidan reviews Depeche Mode’s Chicago concert

Liffey

Posted on August 25, 2013

Aidan, he of the Depeche Mode Facebook covers, attended the Depeche Mode concert in Chicago Aug. 24 and is here to give a micro review. We’ll start with the set list and comments following some of the titles. The songs performed from the new album Delta Machine are in bold and Aidan says they chose the right ones and were to be expected.

“Welcome to My World”
“Angel”
“Walking in My Shoes”
“Precious”
“Black Celebration”
“Policy of Truth”
“Should Be Higher” – amazing
“Barrel of a Gun”
“Higher Love” (sung by Martin Gore) ~ could do without this acoustic slowed-down version of a song with a majestic build-up in its original form.
“Shake the Disease” (sung by Martin Gore) – enjoyed his “aaahhh-aahhha” parts of the song but it’s not as good as the David-led original.
“Heaven”
“Soothe My Soul”
“A Pain That I’m Used To”
“A Question of Time”
“Enjoy the Silence”
“Personal Jesus” – could do without but it’s for the masses I suppose. Although I’d bet some die-hard fans would rather hear a B-side like “My Joy.”

Encore

“Home” (sung by Martin Gore) ~ another slowed-down acoustic version of an already slow but good song.
“Halo” (slower remix) ~ either they should have done the regular version or substituted another song entirely.
“Just Can’t Get Enough” ~ wins the popular vote and lukewarm fans are familiar with it. I’d prefer “Get The Balance Right” or “Dreaming of Me.”
“I Feel You” – one of my all-time favorites but something like the recent “Wrong” would have worked too.
“Never Let Me Down Again” – see comment for “Personal Jesus.”

Aidan said “Should Be Higher” and “Barrel of a Gun” were the concert highlights. The low point was “Halo.”

Aidan’s observations

I would love to hear some cool B-sides like “My Joy,” “In Your Memory,” “Happiest Girl,” “Sea of Sin” or other singles and cuts like “Only When I Lose Myself.”

Keyboardist Peter Gordeno was rarely featured on the big screens compared to the original three (Dave Gahan, Martin Gore, Andy Fletcher) and drummer Christian Eigner. Especially in light of that Peter is probably doing they heavy synth load a la former member Alan Wilder.

Show fashion: I saw an original Black Celebration Tour shirt and spotted a girl wearing a Pussy Riot tee.

Aidan thought the price for a large can of beer ($10-$12) was “ridiculous.”

“It was also strange, he says, in that the theater allowed you to bring in a factory-sealed bottle of water, but when going through the gate they made us remove the caps from our bottles and throw them away. Not sure why. I was rebellious and secretly kept mine.”

Aidan had his ass pinched on the way out of the packed concert. He thinks it was a lesbian who was hand-holding another girl as she passed him.

Not enough screen time: Peter Gordeno

Essays, Interviews, Observations, Pop Culture, Stories, and other Dodginess

The Asshole Book Club Part 2