A few Chicago misconceptions

Windy City

Some jackhole will tell you Chicago is known as the Windy City not for weather-related reasons, but something to do with wind-bag politicians and their bellowing hot air. Bullshit. Bollocks. It’s the Windy City ’cause it’s feckin’ windy. As in weather. I’ve been to most major cities. I’ve run my arse off in most major cities. And Chicago by far is the windiest.

This stupid shirt depicting Mickey Mouse in Chicago is actually pretty accurate.

Cubs fans vs. White Sox fans

Another jackhole will tell you that you can be a fan of the Chicago Cubs or the Chicago White Sox, but not both. Well, that’s bullshit. You can be a fan of both. Sure, you can root for one or the other when they play each other. But to root against one of them in say, the World Series, is bollocks. If you do you’re a Chicago asshole. You’re gonna root for, say, the Tampa Rays against the Cubs if you’re a Sox fan? Or for the Cardinals against the Sox ’cause you’re a Cubs fan? Feck off! What kind of Chicagoan are you? If that’s the case, don’t whine about the city not having a lot of championships. Fortunately, I think the younger baseball fans of the city are adopting the more sensible behavior. You know who argues against this? The same sodding idiot who spills beer on your kid or feckin’ grandma at the park. The same shirtless drunk fuck who runs on the field and dive bombs umpires.

Chicago Accent

I’ve lived in the city of Chicago and its surroundings for a good portion of my sweet life. And I’d say one of every 25 people I’ve met talk in what is known as this appalling “Chicago accent.”  Like you might have seen in those “Superfans” skits on Saturday Night Live or “The Regular Guy” on WXRT. In fact, I think those are the only assholes I’ve heard talk like that. Nobody really talks like that around here. No one on the radio, on TV, on my block or in my bar. There might be a little something-something as far as a Midwestern accent goes but certainly not to the extreme of those aforementioned examples. The only person I’ve known who has spoke that way, with the “chree” for three, etc. is Beer Belly Bob. A local bloke I’d come across in some of the pubs. He’s actually a good guy. Again – the only person I really know who sounds like XRT’s The Regular Guy is The Regular Guy!

Chicago Radio

You’ve probably heard how eclectic terrestrial  radio is in what is supposed to be a major, international city – certainly deserving of so. Well that’s bollocks too. And I’m kidding. You probably haven’t heard that. Certainly not from me. It’s embarrassing how awful it is. Thank goodness for other options. My two favorites that I stream, as always, are Radio Free Sante Fe and Erin’s Chill.

Coming soon to The Dodgy: Weekend festivals, Interview with the awesome Colleen Green, and Melody of Industry.

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