She Broke My Heart, So I Talked To Her Pizza
Posted on June 28, 2014
Mia. A beautiful, smart, Serbian girl I dated in the spring. I didn’t want to, I didn’t plan it, but I fell for her. And naturally, she broke my heart. What sucks is that Mia was planning on making me a pizza. We’d gone out to Gino’s in Chicago and afterwards she said she make me her pizza. I’ve rarely looked forward to anything more. She was going to make me something. Food. I kept referring it to “Mia’s Pizza.” I couldn’t wait to have Mia’s Pizza. Now I don’t think I’ll ever get to try it.
So I interviewed her pizza. Well, it’s more of a chat really. And here it is. This is based on the actual one I emailed her earlier this month. There are a few slight changes. Ana – I would do anything, say anything, tell you anything, if I could see her again. (Note – this is not the same Serbian girl depicted in my essay about my junior high experience The Serbian Girl with Green Socks).
Mia’s Pizza: Will I ever be made for you?
Liffey: I hope so. I have a feeling you’d be delicious!
Mia’s Pizza: What do you like about Mia?
Liffey: She’s smart, mature, and funny. She’s beautiful inside and out. She has good taste, sexy long legs and an amazing doupa. It’s fun to introduce her to new things in the city. I liked how she called Wrigley Field a football field. I liked how she’d say “I missed you” after picking her up.
Mia’s Pizza: How do you think she feels about you?
Liffey: I don’t know. It can’t be good if I haven’t heard from her. But I’d like to think she misses me a little bit. I thought we got along great. I thought we were a good team.
Mia’s Pizza: The two of you talked about taking a trip?
Liffey: Yes. Maybe a two-day trip to Miami, New Orleans, or Mt. Rushmore. Wherever. I’d love to do that this summer.
Mia’s Pizza: Other thoughts?
Liffey: I just want to pick up where we left off. I’d like to do something like we’ve done or whatever Mia wants to do.
Mia’s Pizza: I hope she makes me for you.
Liffey: So do I! We’d eat a good meal and drink a good drink.
Mia’s Pizza: What should I tell her? Any updates since you spoke last?
Liffey: I replaced the windshield on my Jeep. I don’t know if she remembered it had a crack going down the middle from the winter. I’ve also been practicing my Serbian. I’m an Irish idiot, she’s a Serbian princess. My mantra has been: I will do anything, say anything, tell her anything if I could see her again.
Mia’s Pizza: I hope you get to see her again. And one last thing.
Liffey: What’s that?
Mia’s Pizza: Your name is stupid.
Note: Essay originally posted in June.