Essays, Interviews, Observations, Pop Culture, Stories, and other Dodginess

Posts from the “random dodgy” Category

I Kissed Gabby In This Park

Posted on June 24, 2012

I kissed Gabby in this park…and she broke my heart.

This isn’t my handiwork. I knew a Gabby in high school, but we never kissed, nor did we talk to each other. I saw this heartbreaking piece of graffiti the other night. I feel your pain, mystery author. I too, kissed a girl in Ann Sather Garden. Her name was Callie and it was just before she returned to the UK. She called me an asshole after the kiss but hoped to see me again. I want to find this author and hear his (or her) story. I want to know more about Gabby.

Porta Potty Blues

Posted on June 17, 2012

It’s summer, so they’re out. Mosquitoes, plastic beer cups, good bare legs, bad bare legs, and porta pottys. Those big, plastic shitboxes are surrounding summer festivals everywhere. I like to call them Blues. Sure some are green, or grey, but most I’ve seen are blue.  I’m sure everyone has a porta potty story, whether it happened inside or outside of one. I was hit on by a drunken high school girls softball coach as we waited in line for one. And who hasn’t walked into one occupied ’cause the asshat in there forgot to turn the latch to “red?”  Then again, how many of those maybe did that purposely. Lots of pervs out there. Getting away from the porta potty for a minute, but…

Should I Be In Love with Ariel Tweto?

Posted on May 21, 2012

She shares the same name as a mermaid princess. She’s a cross-country runner and was on her co-ed high school wrestling team. She’s learning to fly. She eats seal tongue, or flipper, or something like that. She bought a kilt in Scotland. She’s Ariel Tweto, and should I be in love with her? I first took notice of Ariel on the Discovery show Flying Wild Alaska. I saw her take flying lessons. Would I fly the Alaskan skies with her? Eventually, sure. But for now I’d instead share with her an Anchorage hot tub. Last week Ariel was one of Craig Ferguson’s guests during his The Late, Late Show’s journey to Scotland. One of the trip’s highlights was the episode where Ariel and fellow…