Essays, Interviews, Observations, Pop Culture, Stories, and other Dodginess

The Death of Anne Hathaway’s Hair

Posted on March 4, 2014

The first words out of my mouth when Anne Hathaway walked onstage at the Oscars were “Jesus Christ.”

I think it’s appropriate because Anne Hathaway’s hair is dead. I knew her hair was dying, for almost two years now, since she chopped it off for Les Miserables. Which is French for “My hair is miserable.” But I know it was official when I saw her standing side-by-side by Jared Leto. Who is prettier?

Jared Leto and Anne Hathaway image

How cool would it be if Anne’s hair was as long as Jared’s.

Anne cut her hair in what, 2012? Does it really take that long to grow back? Is she cutting it again? Sandra Bullock didn’t cut her hair for Gravity.  She wore a short wig and it was back to its beautiful long self at the Oscars. I know Anne’s latest film is Song One but I don’t see where that called for an actress to have an unattractive pixie cut. I get ripped on from gal friends for picking on pixie cuts but can anyone honestly say Short Hair Anne is more attractive than Long Hair Anne?

Anne-Hathaway-Hair 3

Love and Other Drugs and Long Hair

In Love and Other Drugs Anne’s character had a serious health issue. But it wasn’t her hair.

Remember her hair in The Dark Knight Rises which wasn’t that long ago?

Anne Hathaway The Dark Knight Rises image

Anne Hathaway Hair The Dodgy imageI’m going to write and direct a film that calls for the heroine to have long hair because it’s central to the plot. And I’ll try to cast Anne so maybe this will get fixed.

Anne Hathaway Hair image

I cried too when this happened Anne. I cried too.

I Liked Her Shoes, He Loved Her Feet

Posted on March 1, 2014

There’s something about a skinny brunette wearing clunky black shoes. I liked Jenny’s shoes. I told her so as we sat on the front steps of the therapeutic day school for at-risk students we worked at in Chicago’s Lincoln Park neighborhood.

We were on a break and playing that game where you each pick out someone and ask the other” “Would you sleep with him/her?”

Any girl Jenny picked that looked like her was always a yes. And being we were near the campus of DePaul University, there were a lot. Shoulder-length curly black hair, pale face, slim not-so-athletic body and imperfect nose. And clunky black shoes.

I liked Jenny’s shoes. When Jenny and I went back inside we met the person who loved her feet. Well, not just Jenny’s feet. Any feet. It didn’t matter if you were a female or male staff member. Michael would dive at their feet and embrace them like he was bowing down to a king. Sometimes he would weep.

There was obviously something wrong with Michael, but then that’s why he was here. All the kids here were messed up in one way or another. At least Michael wasn’t one of the violent ones, or one of those who would shit on the bathroom wall. When he went to the time out room he would stand in the corner, do his time and return to class peacefully. Others the staff would have to share turns restraining for what could be up to two hours.

We had one kid, Roderick, who was always scratching his ass. I finally asked him one day:

“Roderick, why are you always scratching back there?”

“Because it’s dry in here,” he said.

Most of these kids you really felt sorry for. Shitty home lives, shitty health, shitty dispositions. For most of them we were their real family. There were a lot of struggles, but a lot more success stories. But some of my favorite stories are from when the kids were gone for the day and the staff went out to play. Especially the Friday before Jenny’s last Monday before she quit to focus on grad school.

We found an empty couch at a crowded bar on Lincoln Avenue. She laid across the couch with her clunky black shoes on my lap. We decided to play the “Sleep With” game one last time.

“Would you sleep with her?” she said, pointing to a bookish brunette with over-sized glasses and Doc Marten boots. “Yea, I think so,” I replied.

“Ok, she said. “Would you sleep with me?”

“Yea, I think so.”

“Time to go then,” she said.

It was the first time I saw her apartment. The first time I saw her bare feet (not bad – maybe Michael’s on to something) and the last time I saw Jenny.

I Liked Her Shoes, He Loved Her Feet picture

Casting “True Detective” Season Three

Posted on February 21, 2014
casting-true-detective-season-three

The other day there was some  Twitter chatter about who would be cast in season two of True Detective. Tweets began popping up with suggestions including Edward Norton (a great one) and my own – Denzel Washington. I thought it would make an interesting story – only to find out that there are versions of this all over the Web and Twitter – it even had its own hashtag. So it kind of took the fun out of it for me. But I still wanted do it – with one change: Since everyone is discussing who should be cast in season two – I’m going to go ahead and recommend a cast for the inevitable season three. Granted, this is assumed that none of my suggestions are cast in season two. My short list is also a bit different from most in that I’m focusing on women. My list doesn’t partner anyone up as I’m not thinking about chemistry equaling that between Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey just yet. So with little commentary, here are my cast suggestions for season three of True Detective.

brit marling casting season three of True Detective image

Brit Marling

She’s got that spooky quality that would be fitting of a True Detective

charlotte-gainsbourg-casting-true-detective-season-three

Charlotte Gainsbourg

I think Charlotte fits the profile.  Another fine actress who would  could do wonders in an eight-episode season. There could be some strange sex scenes. Maybe pair her with Marling (as partners, not necessarily for the sex. But hey, whatever).

Anne Hathaway casting true detective season three picture

Anne Hathaway

She was the best part of The Dark Knight Rises and have you seen  Havoc and Rachel Getting Married? One caveat: She must grow her hair back.

Jessica Chastain casting True Detective Season 3 image

Jessica Chastain

I think this choice is obvious.

A few other names, male and female: Ethan Hawke,  John Cusak, Hilary Swank, Kirsten Dunst.

And finally: How about these two?

casting True Detective Season Three with McNulty and Bunk