$3 Guinness pints is not a bad way to start St. Pat’s weekend. That would be T.J. Maloney’s Irish Pub in Merrillville on Friday night with the kilt-wearing band Highland Reign.

I was surprised it was a legit pint. Usually those $3 Guinness deals means a small cup. So well done Maloney’s.

Sigh, I missed Chicago for St. Pat’s but Crown Point on Saturday was the next best thing. The only city/town/whatever in Chicagoland that hosted a nighttime parade.

The parade passed through the historic downtown square but it was just out of sight for me as I was perched on the patio bar of Zodiac Cafe and Lounge just north of the action. Guinness was either out of stock or missing so I did the asshat thing and drank a few green Miller Lite. Being my hands were always on a beer there wasn’t time for much camera action. Hence this view of Zodiac’s patio from it’s Facebook page. Probably from last summer.

Zodiac patio bar

See those legs in the pic? There were a lot of them at the parade. It’s the first time I can ever recall for St. Patrick’s in Chicagoland that I saw so many gals in short shorts and little dresses. ~~Blame~~ Credit the unbelievable 80 degree weather for that shite.

As my beer buddy said, “They brought their legs to the parade.”

After the parade it was time for a pub crawl, and if you’ve ever been to Crown Point you know there’s enough of them to choose from. We hit one of my favorites, Crown Brewing, which had about a dozen of its concoctions on tap.

Crowds were overflowing outside every pub. Station 21 was another stop. The Band of Brothers bagpipers were there, as they were doing their own musical crawl through town.

Band of Brothers Pipes and Drums

Someone asked me over the weekend what my favorite U2 songs were.

They are:

Walk On

Until The End of The World

Ultraviolet

New York Minutes

Liffey

Posted on March 12, 2012

Call it nycdodgy.

So I spent last weekend in New York City and this is one of the asshats I came across.

Of course I gave him the loose change I had. How could I not. He’s an honest fuck.

Overheard from the cute, ginger-haired, long-legged flight attendant on the plane from Chicago:

“I love your mascara.”

“I love your sweater skirt.”

“My mom was asking me about Facebook. I said, ‘ma, don’t go on Facebook. You can barely work a smartphone.’ ”

She also talked about wanting more hours and explained to some douche passenger the rules of electrical device shut-off.

“There was a study….plus we want your full attention.”

Well, she had mine. I even took my headphones off to give her a good listen.

Overheard outside the Patriot on Chambers Street:

“Fuck it. I’ll take a two-hour lunch.”

There are a lot of cute Asian gals in NYC and they’re all wearing the same brown eyeglass frames.

On the way from JKF to the hotel, I was sandwiched in the back seat between a couple of Russian/Ukrainian/or something-like-that girls. It was like being in the van from season two of The Wire when those prostitutes were being driven around.

Where did I get my drink on? Well, Bubby’s in Tribeca, of course. It was featured in one of my recent favorite pics Newlyweds – directed by Tribeca’s own Ed Burns.

Sat right there and had two pints of the black stuff during happy hour. (bubbys.com)

Women in Tribeca are truly stunning.

If you’re walking around Times Square and have to pee it’s actually difficult to find someplace to do so.

Another place I enjoyed a few jars of Guinness and Yuengling at was Feile’s Irish Pub on 33rd.

At 5 o’clock in the morning, around Penn Station, were a lot of Snooki-ish chicks in short tight skirts, wandering around like a herd of zombies.

At one point on 7th Avenue an anti-white rally broke out.

Whitey sucks

I had to do this on the downlow, ’cause I’m a whitey and you can see the evil eyes staring me down. The Irish fuck that I am.

Nothing happened…there was no violence or anything. Just some speaker screaming about the white man and quoting from what I think was the Bible. He was surrounded by dudes wearing some sort of ankle-length sweatery uniform things.

So not to end on that note, here’s something that’s on the memorial wall near the WTC site.