Six Movies That Should Be Made But Probably Won’t

There are so many movies that should have never been made. Then there are movies that should be made, but probably won’t. Here are six of them.

A sequel to The Brothers McMullen.

The Brothers McMullen director/writer/star Edward Burns planned to do a follow-up to that 1995 gem, one of my personal favorites, and it seemed to be getting on track until October when Burns tweeted that he “threw out” the sequel idea because he didn’t like any ideas of where the characters would be after 20 years. Instead, he plans to do a prequel, which is fine, but it means we won’t see that Irish-American chemistry between the McMullen Brothers – Burns, Mike McGlone, and that other guy – from the original movie. I’m confident a prequel could be a fine film. But what I like best about Edward Burns movies is that they star Edward Burns. I find it hard to believe he can’t come up with a logical and entertaining story for the three adult McMullens. Last year’s fantastic The Fitzgerald Family Christmas is an example of how he can wrap a story around “Brothers.”

I know he’s been getting a lot of support on Twitter and such for his prequel idea. But this reminds me of The Year Without a Santa Claus. Remember when Santa decided to take a year off, and the entire world supported him? There was that one little girl who wouldn’t have it. Remember she sang “Blue Christmas” and cried when she heard the news? That’s me with The Brothers McMullen. I’m that little girl.

Buffy

I wonder what Buffy The Vampire Slayer would be doing today. A film about it wouldn’t be an action blockbuster, but more of an indie film with Buffy, in her 30s, retired as there are no more vampires, hell holes, demons, or whatever. Well, not really. Maybe there is one more vampire who seeks her out. She might have kids, and maybe has to “save her daughter” in this proposed movie. Or she could just be alone somewhere, maybe in solitude in a coastal village, when evil comes knocking. I wouldn’t even have any of the other cast members in this. And if you have to add one or two, make it a small but pivotal role kind of like Mitch Pileggi (Skinner) had in The X-Files: I Want To Believe. Giles? Faith? And then if there is  sequel you can bring more of the gang back.

Another Batman with Michael Keaton

An aging Batman. Maybe, like Buffy, he has to come out of retirement. I know there are some comics/animated series that depicts older Batman. You could use one of those stories. I wouldn’t mind seeing Keaton’s Batman directed by a Christopher Nolan type (or Nolan himself). Villain? Maybe Harley Quinn. Or a better Riddler than the one from Batman Forever.

Dirty Harry 6

What would Dirty Harry be like today? Kind of like Clint Eastwood’s character in Gran Torino. In fact, with a little editing, that script could easily have been turned into a Dirty Harry film.

Beer Girl

Brit Marling is a Chicago brewer obsessed with coming up with the perfect ale in this dramedy. The craft beer industry is growing like ass and now is the perfect time for a film or two about it (I got this idea from Joe Swanberg’s recent Drinking Buddies).

Jane

A movie based on Jane Byrne’s  term as Chicago’s first female mayor. No city as large as Chicago has yet to have a female mayor. Some crazy shit happened during her tenure. The Chicago Firefighters strike happened under her watch (family members of mine were involved in that). I think this could be an entertaining and interesting film.

Bonus Film

Stakeout 3

Because why the hell not?