The first time I went to Maifest in Lincoln Square, or Chicago’s “German Town”  was several years ago with my then girlfriend Kellie – who was German-American and sorta looked like the character Elisa in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. She was kind of evil like her, too. But I dug her and she wore cute skirts so we dated a bit so there. We went back to her apartment afterwards, after many a stein, and Kellie…just became Kellie. She started yelling at someone outside her window. She wanted me to shave her legs although I thought they didn’t need it at the time. Then she told me about a book she got me for Christmas but decided for me not to have…