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Black Friday, Blue Monday

Posted on November 24, 2012

My favorite Black Friday memory was having unprotected sex making out with a Sears sales girl in the changing room. Her name was Tahlia. She could open a bottle of beer with her teeth and I liked her. This is what happens when you work a Black Friday and roll in at odd hours after eating, drinking and partying the hours before. I’ve done my time. I’ve worked retail and restaurants. I know. Working Black Fridays. Dealing with thieves, hooligans, perverts. And that’s just the co-workers. I worked mostly in home improvement and we didn’t have to deal as much with the insanity. Not too many people were rushing in at 5 a.m. to buy a water heater or can of paint. But one…

Bowling Alleys Depress Me

Posted on November 12, 2012

Bowling Alleys Depress Me There is something about a bowling alley where after I walk in, and once I leave…I don’t want to go back. I’m not a bowler, obviously. The sounds and smells. All my senses are assaulted in these establishments. The first time I recall being in a bowling alley was somewhere in Chicago’s south suburbs. I was in 8th grade and would meet my girlfriend there because she came with her mom, who bowled in a league. I found it creepy. The shoes, the shirts. The bar. Like a bar at a  strip club minus the strippers. We would immediately leave the bowling alley – sometimes I would never walk in – she met me outside – and walk to a…

Goodbye Billie

Posted on November 5, 2012

It was a night of television death. The big topic of discussion Sunday night was the deaths of two major characters on Walking Dead. In a time when almost nothing on the telly can come our way spoiler-free I was shocked, like many, when T-Dog was eaten by zombies prior to Lori Grimes’ death by C-section. Well done, WD. To borrow a quote I once read about the show Millennium, this Walking Dead takes ass, swishes it around in its mouth and blows it in the face of the viewer. There were some tears. Hell, even the actor who played T-Dog was crying on the wrap-up show Talking Dead. I think those deaths overshadowed another television one that night. That of Billie Kent on Boardwalk…