Essays, Interviews, Observations, Pop Culture, Stories, and other Dodginess

Aidan Reviews “Bill Cunningham New York”

Posted on November 14, 2013

Aidan Reviews Bill Cunningham New York picture

Aidan reviewed Depeche Mode’s Chicago concert a few months ago, so I thought I’d have him review something else. He chose the fashion documentary film Bill Cunningham New York. 

First off, the film is a few years old. Why now? 

I’ve been in a documentary kind of mood. Especially after watching HBO docs like Seduced and Abandoned and the one about that New York film director who was pregnant or something. I came across it while I was looking for something to watch on Hulu the other night. It was free to, unlike a lot of good films on there. By the way, the one thing that sucks about Hulu – they go to a commercial break when someone is in the middle of a sentence. Bastards.

I remember when it first came out. I was intrigued, as I have interest in the New York fashion scene, especially since (don’t laugh) The Devil Wears Prada.

And we both loved HBO’s How To Make  It In America about those two dudes in the fashion scene. I think when I first heard about Bill Cunninghham New York I thought it had something to do with that blogger guy, The Satirist.

I think you mean The Satorialist. 

Whatever.

So what’d you think of the film?

I liked it. That guy is one happy fecker. My favorite quote was when he says, “A lot of people have taste, but they don’t have the daring to be creative.” My favorite quote about the film came from Roger Ebert’s review, where the late critic says, “This movie made me happy every minute I was watching it.” My other favorite quote about the film came from our friend Clive, who says, “This is kinda cool I guess.”

I think we both agree that our favorite scenes were those of Bill and his production guy, John Kurdewan. 

They could just have a camera on those two for 30 minutes each week and I’d watch it. It would be better than most of the drub that’s out there. I will also ask…is it wrong to be sexually attracted to Anna Wintour? I might be.

The guy was constantly on his bike. I’d say the majority of the movie is him cruising the streets of Manhattan on that bike. ‘Cause that’s what he does. I kept waiting for him to get hit – and I think he did hit a cab in one scene that was actually tape of him like 20 years earlier. Going into the film I didn’t know if this guy was still alive. I half thought that the movie ends with him getting killed by a truck. Kind of like that movie you wrote about, The Wall, where you just anticipate that dog dying. That was Bill on the bike.

What was one new thing you learned from the film? 

Couture. Actually, I still don’t know what that word means. There were some weird dudes in the film. One guy had all these outfits he was trying on. He looked like The Riddler in one of them. If The Riddler was gay and lived in the Garment District.

A question came up from the filmmaker, who asked Bill if he was gay. Bill kinda says he’s not gay or straight. That he’s only into his work.

I’ll tell you what. Anyone who says that, or denies he’s one or the other? I’d say that’s bullshit. But not Bill. I actually believe him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have a penis or a vagina. I don’t even think he had a bathroom in his apartment. He’d be like that vampire girl/boy in Let The Right One In.

That’s something you won’t see in an Ebert review. 

Well, not anymore.

You know what the hell I mean.

I like that one part where he uses duct tape to fix a tear on his cheap blue jacket. It reminded me of the time I did the same thing for the crotch of my costume pants after that Halloween party last year in Wicker Park.

So what would you rate the film, on a scale of five draft beers?

I’d give it four and a half draft beers. I liked it. I’d give it an extra half beer had Anna Wintour said something naughty in the film.

Bill Cunningham New York The Dodgy

Aidan Reviews Chicago’s Depeche Mode Concert

Saying Goodbye to “How To Make It In America”

“The Wall” – or “Waiting for the Dog to Die”

Posted on November 5, 2013
The Dodgy

The Austrian film The Wall could easily be called The Dog.

First, let me Wikipedia this: The Wall is about a woman who travels with an older couple to a hunting lodge in the Austrian Alps. The couple walk to the village. The woman stays. So does the couple’s dog, Lynx. When the lady notices the couple hasn’t returned the following morning she heads off on the road to the village, only to be stopped in her tracks by an invisible wall. She heads back to the lodge. It’s just her and the dog. The film jumps from the present to the recent past, so we know she’s been stuck in this predicament for a while. It appears at least several years pass.

The mystery, at least for the beginning of the movie, is wondering just what the feck this wall is. But then the concern goes moves away from the wall to the dog. Not long after the wall discovery we learn the dog is no longer with the woman. In the “past” scenes the woman is seen traipsing all over the Alps with the dog, becoming its friend. In the present, she sits forlornly writing her story with no dog in site. Then we learn the dog has died, but we don’t know how.

By now I’ve forgotten the wall, and only wonder with dread how and when that dog is going to die. Because it will. We know this. And we can see the woman is heartbroken over it. When the dog does die, it’s in the worst way you’d imagine. The movie (which is beautifully filmed) ends shortly afterwards – but not before a slow-motion scene of the dog running joyously through the pasture.

Wall, schmall. Nobody cares about the wall, not even the woman. It’s about the loss of the dog. At least Vincent, the dog in Lost, survived to the end. But at least this film left the wall a mystery, and didn’t try to explain it with some Jacob/Man-In-Black shit/protector of the island bullshit.

The Wall - or Waiting for the dog to die

This isn’t going to end well

 

Five Halloween Costumes You Won’t See This Year

Posted on October 22, 2013

A lot of Halloween parties this year will be attended by guests in Breaking Bad, Duck Dynasty, and zombie costumes.

But you can be different this year. No one may know who the hell you are, but you’ll stand out from the crowd of pirates, superheroes, and vampires. Here are five dodgy costume ideas that you probably won’t see.

Ronnie Woo Woo

Five Cool Halloween Costumes You Won't See This Year

Unofficial Chicago Cubs’ mascot who’s loathed and loved equally among Chicagoans. His reach extends beyond Chicago, as he has brought his distinctive cheers (that he punctuates with “Woo!” and annoy many) to places such as the Howard Stern Show. Always in his signature Cubs uniform, Woo Woo was at the funeral of Dennis Farina and partied at Lollapalooza. If you’re not an African-American male you can always go as “White Ronnie Woo Woo.” Pro: potentially lots of pictures with drunk Wrigleyville girls. Con: To be authentic you probably have to smell like urine.

Ronnie Woo Woo

Ronnie Woo Woo at Lollapalooza (flickr photo by Joshua Mellin)

Jason, “Friday the 13th Part 2”

Five Halloween Costumes You Probably Won't See This Year

Jason’s first (and best) adult appearance. No hockey mask yet, so Jay went for the Mr. Green Jeans/Elephant Man look. He was more athletic yet could be taken down easier than his future carnations. When people ask who you are and you say “Jason” most of them will say “Whaa?” You’ll be much cooler than all the douchebags dressed as Goalie Jason. It might be hard to breathe in that sack, however. (Note: when the sack came off, this Jason resembled a deformed Charles Manson).

An Alien From The Original “V”

Halloween costumes The Dodgy

Do you want to know why the remake of “V” sucked? It’s because the “Visitors” didn’t have those cool red uniforms from the original. You might see some at Comic-Cons but even that’s rare. You can find them online, though they might be expensive. Creative? Make your own. And hey, even Freddy Kreuger was an original V.

Five Halloween Costumes You Won't See This Year

Richard Harrow, “Boardwalk Empire”

Five Halloween Costumes You Won't See This Year. The Dodgy.com

The disfigured World War I vet is arguably the most popular character on the HBO prohibition drama, especially with the ladies. You’re probably not as handsome as Jack Harrow, and you’d have to create that face prosthetic, but I just don’t see many guys thinking of this as a costume choice.

Kolchak, “The Night Stalker”

Five Costumes You Won't See This Halloween

Reporter Carl Kolchak investigated the scary, weird, and unusual and was an inspiration for “The X-Files.” They remade “The Night Stalker” several years ago with some pretty boy and plan a film version with yet another pretty boy, Johnny Depp. Like “V” part of the remake’s failure was the removal of an iconic uniform – in this case the character’s natty blue-and-white suit, straw hat, and obscenely huge tape recorder.

Bonus Costume – Chandell, “Batman”

Five Costumes you won't see on Halloween

Villains from “Batman” are popular costume choices every year. And with the recent HBO film about his life, you might even see a Liberace getup. Why not combine the two and go as Chandell, the piano-playing villain from the old Batman TV show played by Liberace himself. I read somewhere that his episodes were among the highest rated in the series. You can also add three beautiful gals to go as Doe, Rae, and Mimi – Chandell’s henchwomen.

Doe, Rae, and Mimi

Henchwomen – Doe, Rae, and Mimi.

Other costume options:

Bill the Butcher from Gangs of New York (“Whoopsie Daisy”)

Ladies, you can cover yourself with colored powder and go as someone who was at India’s Holi festival. To be authentic, place hand prints on your boobs and ass as most Indian men tend to wander there during the celebration.

This is more of a Chicago thing, but you could go as a WXRT DJ and handle the party music. To be authentic, play David Bowie’s “China Girl” several times during the evening.

A grown-up Honey Boo Boo. Well I guess you’d be going as her mom.