Essays, Interviews, Observations, Pop Culture, Stories, and other Dodginess

The Clams U.K.

Posted on March 3, 2013

The Clams U.K. were a Chicago rock-cover band in the 90s and early 2000s. Someone once described them as the kind of cover band that when you were at their show, didn’t seem like a typical cover band and made the songs their own. They played most of their gigs at Weeds, a terrific dive bar led by the legendary Sergio, whose painted wooden bust greets patrons when they walk in the door. The Clams U.K. had connections with Chicago’s music scene. In fact, former Veruca Salt drummer Jim Shapiro sat in with them a few times. Other musicians were often in attendance at a Clams U.K. show, including Shapiro’s sister and Veruca Salt co-founder Nina Gordon. As far as I know the Clams didn’t record any music, but they made the coolest show flyers in the city. And here are eight of them.

The Clams U.K. played at Weeds in Chicago

The Clams U.K. played at Weeds Tavern in Chicago

The Clams U.K. were booked by Sergio Mayora at Weeds

Chicago band

The Clams U.K. played at Weeds Tavern in Chicago

Veruca Salt's Jim Shapiro played with The Clams U.K.

Chicago band The Clams U.K.

Clams UK 8

Morrissey, It Was Really Nothing

Posted on March 1, 2013

I’m getting sick of Morrissey, who’s been in the news lately for canceling an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live because the Duck Dynasty stars were on the same episode and the vegetarian’s  concert at L.A.’s Staple Center will not allow meat products to be sold. Who eats meat at a concert anyway? Shame on Moz for not having the balls to do Kimmel’s show, which really didn’t require balls to do anyway. The Duck Dynasty cast, who probably never heard of Morrissey, certainly didn’t give a shit a veggie was on the show. They win (and boy did they – the ratings for their A&E show skyrocketed after the singing animal rights activist quit the show).

Who eats meat at a concert anyway?

Way to think of your fans, Morrissey, those who maybe wanted to see you perform on Kimmel and don’t have the opportunity to see you live. What’s really dodgy is I bet Morrissey has no problem selling his music to meat-eaters. I guess he has no problem taking their money. And what about the stupid picture below, from The Hollywood Reporter article, that shows Moz with a cat on his head. There should be a cow up there instead.

Morrissey

I wish that was a cow on his head (photo THR)

Morrissey sure looks a bit pudgy for a vegetarian (a stereotype, I know). And maybe the guy should eat meat. It seems like he’s always canceling concerts for health issues.

I’m a fan of The Smiths and Morrissey’s music. Heck, “Irish Blood, English Heart” is practically my theme song. And I once had an intimate moment once with this gal Wendy, a college professor, with the underrated “Roy’s Keen” in the background. It’s one of my favorite Moz songs and and it’s embarrassing to leave it off the remastered album of its origin, Maladjusted.

“Irish Blood, English Heart” is practically my theme song

I do eat meat, but I’m trying to cut back, especially on red meat. If only to have a better bathroom experience. I love animals and I’m eating more veggies – but not because of anything Morrissey does or sings. But Frankly, Mr. Shankly, Morrissey should not have bowed out on Kimmel. Based on his reasoning he shouldn’t appear in any concerts if say, one of the venue’s staff members hunts or enjoys an occasional Big Mac. I’m pretty sure David Letterman like ham, but he does that show. Those Duck Dynasty guys on Kimmel? Morrissey, it was really nothing.

What’s with all the Pixie Cuts?

Posted on February 25, 2013

I was certain the In Memoriam segment of Sunday’s Academy Awards broadcast would include Anne Hathaway’s hair. If you were watching Charlize Theron dance on stage, from a distance on a non high-definition TV, you might have thought – just for a moment – that it was Dame Judi Dench. I’ll call her Charlie until the hair comes back.  I didn’t see Michelle Williams or Carey Mulligan at the Oscars, but I’m sure them and their pixie cuts were close by.

What’s with all these pixie cuts on actresses and on women in general? I realize a lot of it has to do with a film role, like Anne’s in Les Miserables. But Jesus, has anyone’s hair taken so long to grow? Her locks were beautiful in The Dark Knight Rises. And that scene of her on the toilet in Rachel Getting Married  would have been more disgusting with her little bob cut.

Anne Hathaway

Remembering Anne Hathaway’s long locks (Photo credit: Horustr4n)

Supposedly Charlize lopped off her hair for her role in Mad Max 4. If that’s the case I question the production of that film. Actually, I question the production of it regardless of her hair length. I don’t know the excuse for Williams or Mulligan. They’ve had short hair for a long time. And sure, they keep getting film roles. But if the crop top was so adorably sexy, why would the producers of Oz the Great and Powerful give Williams a wig for her role as the good witch Glinda?

The one movie role William’s short hair was suited for was in Take This Waltz. Because her character was a wacko. She’s pretending to need a wheelchair at the airport, pissing in a pool, staring at old ladies’ bodies in the shower. Not knowing how her own shower works.

Michelle Williams 2012 Shankbone 2

Wig it! Michelle Williams (Photo credit: david_shankbone)

You know who still has long hair? Kristen Stewart. She has to. She was just voted worst actress. She can’t afford to go cutting her hair now. Not yet. And then there’s Merida from Brave. What an amazing little independent heroine princess. And that gorgeous long, memorable red Scottish hair. The movie won the Oscar for Best Animated Film. Her hair should have won another.

Brave Movie

Brave Movie (Photo credit: Michelle O’Connell)

My favorite hair from the Oscars: Adele, Jessica Chastain, Kerry Washington, and Naomi Watts.