After watching The Perks of Being A Wallflower and the obligatory high school lunch room scenes, I got to thinking about my own school cafeteria.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a lunch room experience quite like any I’ve seen in the movies. Even if we tried to re-create something it never came out quite right. I certainly never had lunch outside like those featured in most of the movies – at least the ones taking place in California. And lockers outside? Can you imagine that in the UK or Chicago?
My high school lunch room resembled a prison cafeteria (think Oz). I was sentenced to it for four years. Freshman year, I’d just arrived from a small Catholic school that I’d attended for the last eight years. And now here I was at a big public school and one where none of my former classmates were attending.
When I first walked into that cafeteria – at an ungodly time of 10:40 a.m. – and took in the sights, smells and sounds…I recall saying one of the following:
“Jesus Christ.”
“Feck this.”
“Feck me.”
I couldn’t believe how at home everyone seemed to be. As if this was the last day of school. How did these kids all seem to know each other? Isn’t this a freshman lunch? Am I the only freshman in here?
There were people of all different races and cultures. I wasn’t used to seeing this, although I had dated the one and only Hispanic girl in junior high. There were no groups of cheerleaders sashaying around with their lunch trays – like in the movies. That was the first thing I looked for.
I decided to take a seat at one of the long tables near some fellow male students that didn’t look “jocky” but weren’t quite misfits either. I didn’t eat the cafeteria food – I brought a little sack lunch. There was a disheveled kid sitting directly in front of me. Just sitting there with no food or anything. He had dirty red hair and one of his eyes was completely bloodshot.
“I could kill you,” he said.
And those were the first words spoken directly to me in high school.
Essays, Interviews, Observations, Pop Culture, Stories, and other Dodginess
Despite Emma Watson’s ungodly short hair, I was rather enjoying the newly-released (to the Web) movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Then came the scene where the film’s trio is riding in pick-up truck through a tunnel after a party. On the radio came what Sam (Emma Watson) called “the perfect tunnel” song where she stands in the bed of the pick-up with the tune blaring while what little hair she has blows in the wind.
Sam had an “omg” moment when the song came on. She didn’t know it. She asked her step-brother, Patrick, and he didn’t know it. She asked Charlie, the film’s protagonist, who said “I never heard this before.”
The song was “Heroes” by David Bowie. And I refuse to believe that the trio didn’t know that. After all, they are big fans of The Smiths and perform in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Sam digs cool record stores and vinyl. The film takes place in the early ’90s. It has to be no later than 1993 because that’s when one of the songs featured in the film, “Low” by Cracker was released. And we know one of their close friends was a huge Ani DiFranco fan.
Based on all that I”m confounded they didn’t know the song. You’d think they would at least recognize the singer as David Bowie. At the very least. I don’t think you have to be a big Bowie fan to know that. I’m not. A more obscure artist and song should have been chosen. Sounds a bit dodgy to me.
Other than that…the movie was swell.
Cover of Heroes
The perks of being a wallflower (Photo credit: 260986)
As soon as I saw Hannah on Girls enter the rich, handsome doctor’s brownstone I said, “Oh shit.” I knew what was coming. The wrath of critics who found it unbelievable, unsavory, that Patrick Wilson’s character could be attracted to “the fat girl.”
photo/Jessica Miglio/HBO
I don’t consider Lena Dunham to be fat, but that’s what the naysayers of the “One Man’s Trash” episode are really thinking. I’m not going to regurgitate the “jump the shark” reviews but the one with the most common sense does, and it’s at Jezebel. I’m just here to say that handsome lads like myself can dig a gal with a little girth. I didn’t for an instant find Hannah’s hook-up with the good doctor unrealistic. Anyone who does – I’m not sure what life they’ve been living or experiences they’ve had. I didn’t even find Hannah’s naked Ping-Pong play a disbelief. I know girls who’ve done more unusual things in the buff.
‘Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go ’round’ – Queen
I think Hannah Horvath is sexy. It’s not to say I’m attracted to her. I find all four girls on Girls to be attractive, but I’m not necessarily attracted to them. I have strange tastes. I do like pretty girls with flaws. I’m not into big boobs or big butts. Even though I might not sleep with Hannah (I wouldn’t pull away if she kissed me), I know plenty of successful gentleman who would. And not only would they sleep with her, they’d date her.
My friend, Chicago recluse author Clive Javanski, would definitely do both with Hannah. He’s told me so. Although his biggest crush is Natasha McElhone of Californication. He’s also fond of Margo Martindale, formerly of Justified and now The Americans. Clive once went on a blind date he arranged through a Chicago Reader matches add. It turns out she was “monstrous.” But that’s because she was really a he – or something like that. They went out to eat for tacos and Clive couldn’t get over her big hands.
And Hannah…I can’t wait to see who you’re gonna bang next.
The Dodgy 