Essays, Interviews, Observations, Pop Culture, Stories, and other Dodginess

10-foot rooster odd choice for Chicago late night

Posted on May 13, 2012

File this in the “Are you fecking kidding me?” drawer. Apparently a late night TV talk show will debut in Chicago this September. Supposedly the sidekick to host Michael Essany (remember him?) is a 10-foot animatronic rooster. Because a 10-foot rooster is the obvious choice when it comes to late night television in Chicago, right? I’m all for ridiculous ideas, and whatever stoner came up with this idea in the meeting might be a genius in himself. But is the show in Chicago or Farmville?

The Show

It’s going to on WJYS. I’m in Chicago and I’m not even sure what that is. Although creative has a way of coming out more in these smaller-type stations then the local affiliates of the major networks.

The show is called Seven on Ridge, and I have no idea what that means.

The host is Michael Essany. He got famous for being a kid who interviewed celebrities in his parent’s Northwest Indiana home. That was the bend, the schtick. As an adult, that bend is gone. His “adult” version of a talk show didn’t last too long when it was the E Network years ago.

Supposedly the show will have the atmosphere of a supper club, which was big in the 30s and 40s. So I guess it makes sense for 2012.

There’s a list of potential guests for the show on the website. Mila Kunis is on there. I’ll watch Mila chat with anyone, whether or not there’s a looming 10-foot rooster or black swan nearby.

The announcer for the show’s promo says New York and Los Angeles has held the flags down for too long in late night TV. Now it’s “Chicago’s time.” But a giant fucking rooster, really? In the country’s 3rd largest market? I’m all for crazy. But there’s good crazy and bad crazy.

Michael Essany in Seven On Ridge

Yea, this is a good idea (sevenonridge.com)

I’ll bet my pants this show got the idea for Kaka (that’s the rooster’s name – get it?) from Craig Ferguson’s animatronic robot skeleton-sidekick Geoff.

I was never that crazy about Geoff, but Craig makes it work. At least they could cart Geoff around when they take the show on the road. Don’t think that would work with Kaka, although it would be a good fit if they film the show in an Indiana cornfield.

Hey Trib, The Dodgy list was first – and better.

Posted on May 8, 2012

A week after I posted my own, the Chicago Tribune today had their own list of smart-alec ideas to replace the Marilyn Monroe statue on Michigan Avenue.

Mine were much better, more creative, and more interesting. So there.

Here are theirs. Followed by my reaction.

Macaulay Culkin – Jesus Christ.

Betty White – Give me a feckin’ break already with her. Enough.

Bjork – Totally out of the blue. My favorite choice from their lame list.

Rod Blagojevich – too easy. No creative thought put into this whatever.

Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake – Is anyone still talking about that?

Sorry Chicago Tribune, mine was first – and better. So Neh. The headline sounds assery of me, but I’m feeling assery.

Enough of that. Here is a random post from my Facebook page on Friday night when I did absolute shite.

“It’s Friday night and I’m watching Larry fuckin’ Crowne.”

And speaking of recent posts, just after I had a call-out for Sacha Baron Cohen to host SNL, guess who makes an appearance. And he did it as The Dictator, which I thought would have worked in a sketch or two. Seeing him on Weekend Update only reinforces how much he should host the entire show.

Can you stick around for the rest of the show?

Who should host Saturday Night Live

Posted on May 4, 2012

Mick Jagger is hosting the season finale of Saturday Night Live. Doesn’t exactly make me want to buy a round for the bar.

A few weeks ago Collider.com posted the news that Will Ferrell would be returning to host the episode prior to Mick’s.

At the time the finale host was unknown, and the poster posed a question. Who could top Ferrell?

Easy, I replied.

Sacha Baron Cohen.

Not only is it convenient because his “The Dictator” is coming out this month but he would incredibly awesome and perhaps even a little risque for SNL – but that’s what they need. No thank you, Channing Tatum.

I would love to see Sacha bring his Dictator character to a sketch, maybe even the opening monologue. And how cool would it be to re-visit his other characters like Ali G and Borat?

He’s my number 1. choice to host that damn show, one of these days.

Here are some of my other choices to host. I’m almost certain they never have. Let’s give Alec Baldwin a break next time and give one of these guys/gals a chance.

Denzel Washington – this would be a huge bucket of win.

Louis C.K. – maybe he can write the appearance in one of the episodes of his tv show.

Tom Cruise – proved he could do comedy and it would just be a little weird.

Christian Bale – just want to see him lighten up a bit. Ohhhhh, good for you!

Keira Knightely – just lovely and British.

Howard Stern – I think they’re afraid of him there. Howard’s old show used to kick SNL’s ass in the ratings, I believe.

Michael K. Williams – Omar from The Wire. Enough said. We’ve seen him do funny on Community. Hell, he was funny on The Wire.

Sarah Silverman – she used to be a bit player on the show. She’d bring ass, and kick it.

Host SNL, and do it now